Before having my son, I frequently heard women say, “being a mom is the hardest job in the world. It’s the job that never ends, the job you never get a break or rest from. You’ll never sleep or get peace and quiet again. It’s a burden…”
I admit this used to terrify me.
How in the world would I manage such a burdensome role if 9 out of 10 women chanted in unison that it was the most difficult thing in the world?
Although those statements were discouraging, the Holy Spirit would always impress upon my soul. I didn’t care how bad I heard motherhood was. I still wanted children.
I am a mother to my son Preston who is one year and a half, and my second child is due in 6 weeks or so. When Preston was born, we went through a difficult time of colic and acid reflux. In fact, his pediatrician coined him “extreme colic and severe acid reflux.” Yes, that period was challenging, but to me, it never seemed like a “burden” or the “hardest thing in the world.”
When I shared that with other moms, I got funny looks, laughs, or the dreaded, “oh bless your heart, just wait until (blank) happens. It’ll get worse”.
It didn’t make sense to me that I should view my child and my role as a mother so negatively. Eventually, it started to make sense.
Perspective is Everything
As moms, what we deem hard or burdensome will vary according to our different perspectives and experiences as humans in general. Which means, we each have unique ways of perceiving, believing, thinking, remembering, knowing, deciding, and so on. Even if we share a similar experience, it will never be the exact same as another.
When I was pregnant, I would hear a plethora of condescending statements from other moms:
“You think you’re tired now? Just wait until the baby gets here. They don’t sleep so you won’t sleep!”
After the baby is born, it’s a never-ending slope:
“The newborn phase is a breeze compared to toddlerhood! Babies sleep all the time and snuggle. The toddlers will flip your life upside down.”
“One-year-olds are still nice and sweet. It’s the terrible twos, the three-nagers, and the four-nados you have to hunker down and brace yourself for!”
“No, I would take five newborns and toddlers any day over one teenager! Teenagers are the worst by far!”
Simply browse through the hashtag, MomTok on TikTok and you’ll see that the perspectives from other mothers largely tend to be that motherhood is burdensome.
The perspectives on what is burdensome or not vary. Some moms will say they relate wholeheartedly and some will say they cannot disagree more.
Positive and Negative Attitudes
I may have been new to motherhood and navigating the challenge it presents, but I was not new to God’s word and its truth.
During my most difficult days of motherhood (the colic phase) I decided that I was going to keep a positive outlook no matter what. I was going to refrain from emotional venting which I knew to only lead to a worse state of mind. Venting feels good in the moment. But the issue remains unresolved, and you’re left feeling even more angry and resentful about the problem.
Maintaining a positive perspective makes sense because I know that a hard moment does not mean that the entire day will be hard.
I also wanted to align myself with what God says about motherhood and not my emotions. Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” Another word for heritage is blessing. If God calls children a heritage, then who are we to consider it something burdensome or other than?
I reject the urge to perceive my child as difficult or a burden. Instead, I continuously thanked God for them. Sure, it may sound cliché to say I only think positively about motherhood and my children. You may even think it’s and easier said than done. But I say, it’s only cliché if it’s all talk and no action.
I believe God at His word. In Philippians 4:8 we’re told how to think and what to think on—meaning we should control of our thoughts. God never tells us to exclude motherhood from the areas of life where must exercise control over our thoughts. As mothers, we are not excluded.
Again, God is the One who says in Philippians 2:14-16 to do all things without complaining and arguing. As mothers, we’re not excluded there either.
Being a Mom is not Hard to Me
Having made a choice to keep a positive perspective toward my child, my pregnancy with a second boy, and my role as a mother altogether, I confidently say that being a mom is not hard to me.
I’m not a superwoman and that’s fine. I have learned that with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can shape my perspective toward motherhood to only be a positive one.
Looking at Motherhood Positively
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33
If God confirms that there are difficulties in all of life, I refuse to believe one area is more difficult than another. I refuse to waver in my responsibility to hold steadfast in all work (1 Corinthians 15:58).
I am steadfast in calling motherhood what God calls motherhood, a blessing. Calling my children what God calls them, a reward from Him. I refuse to be burdened by the very things I longed and prayed for.
Before having my son, I saw photos of messy children in high chairs covered in spaghetti sauce and thought, “Lord, I can’t wait till I have that.” I heard moms vent about never having a moment alone because their children were always around, in the bathroom with them, wanting to have their food while they ate, etc. and I thought “Lord, I can’t wait till I have children and get to have this experience.” I now have them and I can confirm they are not a burden, but bring me joy.
Moms, hear my heart here. Don’t let the foxes in the vineyard spoil the vines. Don’t let Satan steal your joy. You deserve better, and Jesus Christ died so that you can have abundantly better. Ask the Lord to show you His godly perspective toward your role as a mother, your children, and your significant value in this time. He will not disappoint.
