Motherhood is both complex and beautiful. You’re not just looking after yourself, you’re holding the lives of your children in your hands. That’s no small thing, and it deserves your best shot!
At times, life can throw curveballs, and expectations often pile up. You may ask: How can I be a good mother when stressed? How do I stay present when depressed? How can I be a good mother to my son or daughter?
These are valid questions. And here are simple steps to help you stay on top of your motherhood journey:
1. Practice Self-Care
First and foremost, remember that you’re not a robot. Your emotional well-being matters. Establish a routine that replenishes you, because you can’t give from an empty cup. Your self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity that ensures you can show up fully for your children.
You must learn to step back when you’re stressed, depressed, or exhausted. That’s the first step to showing up full and fully for your children.
2. Love Unconditionally
Children are humans too, and even when they make mistakes or get on your nerves, your love must be stable. Love them through thick and thin. After all, that’s what Jesus does for us.
Don’t reserve affection for when they tick all the boxes. Say “I love you” as often as needed and whenever you remember, so they’ll be reassured.
3. Be Present
Show up in spirit, soul, and body. Your presence speaks louder than your words. So, put distractions aside.
Be there during tough days, light moments, and everything in between. When they are miles away, let them know you’re connected through prayers and thoughts.
4. Set Boundaries
Boundaries aren’t fences, they’re guides. Lay them down clearly, and teach your children how to do the same. Do well to explain how boundaries protect and what’s at stake if they don’t.
This builds their responsibility to allow others to enjoy their fundamental human rights and helps them recognize when their own rights have been violated.
5. Lead by Example
Ever heard the expression, “do as I say, not as I do?” Well, as believers we’re called to truth. We must live and lead “in word” and “in deed.”
Generally kids mirror what you do more than what you say, anyway. If you want them to obey you, learn to walk the talk beyond words. What they see you do sticks more than any lecture.
6. Show Affection
Again, it is about show, not just tell. Proclamation without proof provokes irritation and rebellion. And yes, our kids need proof too.
Where is the assurance that you love them? Don’t leave your love hanging in the air; let them feel it.
A warm hug, a gentle touch, a loving glance, a token, intentional one-on-one days or trips to the mall or garden; these go a long way in building their sense of security.
7. Praise and Encourage
Parenting is partly guidance on one hand and affirmation on the other. But many are so engrossed in catching the little slips of their children that they don’t ever catch them doing right.
Don’t just correct, but praise their efforts. After all, this is their first time doing life, and they’re not all that experienced in it.
Cheer them on. This boosts their confidence and encourages them not to coil back but to take a stance every morning and moment in their little worlds too.
8. Encourage Open Communication
My favourite quote on parenting is, “Talk to your child before others do.”
As much as you talk to your children, let them speak to you too. Make room for their feelings by making them believe they can speak to you about anything and everything.
Whether they’re hurt, angry, or excited, let them speak. Don’t shut them out when it’s tough to hear. Just listen.
9. Practice Forgiveness
Of course, they’ll slip up, and so will you. Shake it off. Learn from it and move on. Forgive quickly. No one gets it right every time. And as they get older, the mistakes can get bigger. But, be sure to practice the same forgiveness that was freely given to us in Christ
Related: Choosing to Love and Forgive
10. Support Their Interests
Personally, the things I do and chase now are the thingsI have wanted to since I was younger. My interests followed me from preschool to adulthood. This is typically the case for many children.
Don’t write off what your children love, or they’ll be lost when they grow up. Get behind their dreams in support, even if they don’t look like yours. Be the wind beneath their wings, not the wall in their path.
11. Discipline in Love
While they grow, give them space to try and fail. Don’t hover over every move. Step in when needed, but know when to let go. That’s how confidence takes root.
When it’s time to discipline, be firm but not harsh. Sit down and talk it through. Let them know that correction doesn’t cancel love; but is actually proof that you love them.
12. Give Them the Gospel
Finally, give your children the gift that keeps on giving—the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The world is full of darkness, but Jesus stands as the brightest Light. Teach them about the Bible and the gift of eternal life that God gave us all.
As they grow older and look back on their childhood, they’ll be grateful that you told them this beautiful truth.
In the end, being a good mother doesn’t mean being a perfect one. But if you keep up with these simple steps, you’ll be more confident in raising children who feel loved, secure, and ready to take on the world.
