Cut has featured a trendy speed dating bit that’s taken the internet by storm as contestants take the concept of “swiping left” to the max. Face-to-face and across the table from potential matches, daters are at liberty to “reject your date with one press of the button.” Literally—they press a big red button on the table and in comes another dater who may or may not meet their expectations. The premise is simple: if you don’t like your date, try a new person. If two people can survive ten minutes together, then they receive an all-expense paid second date.
Spoiler alert: No one likes anybody.
Ten minutes is the new one-hour by the way. Who knew?
Equal parts raunchy and cringeworthy, Cut is a catalogue of “social experiments,” as well as a microcosm of the ideals and values that underscore the secular world’s approach to relationships. A reminder of the harsh reality that as a society, we’re becoming more and more…carnal.
And with the advent of dopamine-raising Instagram Reels and Tik-Toks, it seems we’re getting increasingly more vain, impatient, and antsy.
We are charged by God to walk in the spirit so that we will not gratify the flesh. (Galatians 5:16). Yet the prevalent “give-it-to-me-now” mentality means that as a people, we behave in ways that are completely driven by lust, our eyes and sensuality (1 John 2:16). For many, consulting the lower nature for a potential partner is a treasured pastime—the same nature that endlessly craves instant gratification. No wonder we’re entertained by the idea of instantly hitting a button and instantly getting someone else.
Jesus described the world to illustrate God’s kingdom to us (Matthew 13:10-11). So as children of God, there’s a few things we can learn. Here’s three lessons Christians can take away from the viral speed dating segment:
1) Kingdom Relationships Are Spiritual Not Sensual
In the show, partners are quickly rejected for frivolous things like hair color, age (sometimes assumed), a line of work, personality traits that cannot be understood so briefly, or for no specified reason at all. The work boils down to an ability to sell oneself through smooth talk. However, this is is rooted in sensuality and consumption—which only leads to wrong choices and danger in the long-run.
“With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter, like a deer stepping into a noose; till an arrow pierces his liver, like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life. – Proverbs 7:21-23
Fruitful relationships that are anointed by God are those that have His hand rested up on them. They are spiritually discerned in the place of prayer and by seeking God’s will. This brings peace and confidence. Abraham found a suitable wife for Isaac through prayer, which brought confirmation from God that an angel would help locate her. (Genesis 24:7). Abraham’s servant who aided in the process, also prayed for confirmation. Without even saying a word, he carefully observed if Rebekah was the woman that aligned with his prayers (Genesis 24:21). Though she was lovely, Rebekah was not chosen for her selling points. She was chosen by God to be the wife of Issac.
The takeaway: If you want to be sure the man is God’s will for you, start with prayer and prioritize a spiritual connection and a shared devotion to Jesus.
2) Your Eyes Will Deceive You
Our eyes must be fixed upon the Lord, else they will lead us astray. For this reason, we trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). From our own perspectives, nothing or no one is really ever enough. We will always want more because the eyes are never satisfied (Proverbs 27:20). When assessing a potential partner, we will typically become bored and begin to crave more options or variety. Especially when the “novelty” fades. In time, we wish they were more educated or handsome, more funny or tall, sometimes even more spiritual. The truth is that these outward characteristics are the “vanities” that can never determine the success or value of any relationship.
“Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity and revive me in Your ways.” — Psalm 119:37
In the Garden, Eve disobeyed God and ate of the forbidden fruit because she saw that the tree was a delight to her eyes (Genesis 3:6). Relying on her eyes, and not God’s ways, she believed that the tree was “good for food,” not realizing that something that looked so appealing would cause everlasting destruction and loss.
A good man is not the right one because of the things our eyes can see about them. The inner man is more important because it is the source of their godliness, holiness, leadership, kindness and every other Christ-like attribute. It is our prayer that God will teach us His ways and give us ‘spiritual eyes’ through the Holy Spirit.
The takeaway: Eye-candy doesn’t sustain in the long run. Your partner ought to look good on the inside as much as they do on the outside, if not way more.
3) Patience Is Key
As much as we wish that connections were straightforward, instant, or linear—they usually aren’t. In real life, we can’t speed through partners. (Well, you can. That’s your prerogative). But…it would not be biblical or wise.
Many of the most beautiful Christian love stories of relationships graced by God—took time. It takes time to pray. It takes time to court one another. It takes time to study the word of God to determine if a person aligns with God’s purposes. It can even take time to fall in love or form a friendship.
All we know is that there is a time for everything, and *everything* is in God’s hands (Ecclesiastes 3:1, Psalm 31:15). Do your part in making yourself available and leave the rest.
When we seek God’s kingdom first, every other thing is added, including your perfect match. It was in fellowship with the Lord that God determined that it was time for Adam to be with a woman comparable to him. (Genesis 2:20-21). Take all the time you need in fellowship with the Lord beforehand.
The takeaway: Christian relationships can progress extremely fast or take a winding road. Always seek God’s perfect timetable.
Now, with all that said, before you “swipe left” on the next person or seek out your own version of a glaring, red buzzer—remember you have a Father. You can trust Him. And in the end, your Father always knows best.
