Spiritual abuse presents itself in many forms and can include: Intimidation, fear-mongering, bullying, exposure, guilt-tripping and shaming, slander, hypocrisy, piety, taking advantage of others, manipulation, denigration, poor leadership and stewardship, exclusion, perversion of gifts, stealing, and greed. It can be as mild as non-verbal abuse, and as severe as sexual molestation.
While everyone is prone to a degree of pain or offense (as you would in any social setting) certain individuals are more susceptible to the bitter seeds of trauma, and they are those who do not know or understand their identity in Christ, how to “test the spirits” or the biblical dynamics of fellowship and shepherdship. It is a deceptive lie from the enemy that God endorses the harm wrongfully inflicted upon His children. In fact, he abhors it. (Ezekiel 34)
The comforting truth is that the Word of God clearly and starkly warns about the dangers of “wolves” in the church who seek their own selfish interests as opposed to the welfare of the others, and the authentic message of the Gospel. The Bible also reminds the believer of their responsibility to examine their fruits (1 John 4:1). Apostle Paul says to the beginning church:
“For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves. Therefore watch, and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears.
— Acts 20:29-31
Jesus Christ is the True and Good Shepherd. According Psalm 23, He leads us beside green pastures and still waters, indicating peace and rest. Spiritual leaders are meant to follow His example because Jesus Himself perfectly models the shepherd-flock relationship, reminding us that in the face of danger, loving leaders “lay down their lives” for the sheep—not expose them:
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep and am known by My own.” — John 10:11-14
Have the emotions of “church hurt” excluded you from His presence or the faith? Our prayer for you is healing from any trauma that was wrongfully experienced in church, by seeking God and His word. Also, the strength to apply wisdom concerning whether to stay or leave a fellowship (or other influence) that appears toxic. God will guide us to His best and the Word of God encourages us to fellowship together all the more as the day of Christ’s return becomes nearer (Hebrews 10:25). As society inevitably changes, life’s challenges become harder to handle without spiritual community. Our Lord Jesus Christ is returning very soon for His church and judgment awaits for mismanagement of God’s people. Until that faithful day, keep your heart open to God’s tender mercies and closed to the works of the enemy.