Church hurt is a physical, spiritual, emotional, or psychological wound that has been inflicted on a member of a religious community by the leaders of said community, or its other members. Typically, this wound leaves victims dejected and crippled in their ability to engage with God, or other faith-based activities.
In most cases, church hurt is a direct result of spiritual abuse, which can appear as subtle as non-verbal abuse, or as severe as sexual molestation. Nonetheless, spiritual abuse has many faces including intimidation, fear-mongering, bullying, exposure, guilt-tripping and shaming, slander, hypocrisy, piety, manipulation, denigration, exclusion, perversion of gifts, stealing, and greed.
Generally, everyone is prone to pain or offense—as in any social setting. But, those who do not know their identity in Christ, or fail to “test the spirits” are most susceptible to wounding. As another safeguard, it is also vital to understand the biblical dynamics of fellowship and shepherdship.
Does God Approve of Church Hurt?
God does not want His children to be deceived or hurt. He loves us and that is why He sent His son, Jesus—so He could be with us for eternity! It is a cunning lie from the enemy that God endorses the harm wrongfully inflicted upon His children. In fact, Ezekiel 34 shows us that He hates it. The truth is that the Bible starkly warns us about the dangers of wolves in the church who seek their own selfish interests. These people neglect the welfare of the others and contradict the authentic message of the Gospel.
Apostle Paul says to the early church:
“For I know this, that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things, to draw away the disciples after themselves. Therefore watch, and remember that for three years I did not cease to warn everyone night and day with tears. — Acts 20:29-31
The Bible also points our responsibility to examine their fruits:
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” — 1 John 4:1
Jesus Christ is the Good Shepherd that will never leave or forsake us. Psalm 23 beautifully tells us how He leads us beside green pastures and still waters—indicating peace and rest under His covering. No human being could ever replace the solace found in Christ alone. Yet, spiritual leaders, and pastors are supposed to follow the example that Jesus left behind. He perfectly modeled the shepherd-flock relationship, reminding us that in the face of danger, true shepherds leaders lay down their lives for the sheep—not expose them:
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep and am known by My own.” — John 10:11-14
Looking Beyond the Church Hurt
Has church hurt excluded you from God’s presence or the Christian faith? It’s time for restoration and your return to Jesus—the One who loved you first (1 John 4:19). Humans are flawed and will fail woefully. But Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever more. Our prayer for you is full healing from trauma that was wrongfully experienced in church. For others, the strength and wisdom to discern whether its time leave a fellowship (or other influence) that appears toxic.
God will guide us to His best, but don’t forget that the Word of God encourages us to fellowship together all the more as the day of Christ’s return gets closer (Hebrews 10:25). Life’s challenges are difficult without spiritual community. Our Lord Jesus Christ is returning very soon for His church, and either repentance or judgment awaits for mismanagement of God’s people. But for now, keep your heart open to God’s tender mercies, and closed to the works of evil one.
