“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
— Galatians 1:10
For as long as I can remember, I was locked in a prison of fear. I feared the demonic—something I encountered a few times as a child. I feared endless what-if scenarios. And I feared people.
I grew up petrified of what people said, thought, or felt about me. The slightest hint of disapproval could put a golf-ball-sized lump in my throat. My stomach would churn. My face would turn bright red within seconds.
I cared deeply when someone seemed angry with me or disliked me. I avoided confrontation like the plague, and rarely voiced disagreement or told someone when they had hurt me. I was a wounded people-pleaser, hoping never to face rejection and remain in everyone’s good graces.
God Confronted My Fear of Man
About three years ago, everything changed for me, and life hasn’t been the same since. I felt the Lord freeing me from the fear of man and people-pleasing, so I began to pray for exactly that. Then I came across a Facebook Live from Jeremiah Johnson. His words stopped me in my tracks:
“You worship people and honor Me, when it should be the other way around.”
Those words cut through tissue, bone, and marrow—straight to my heart and soul.
As I listened, I felt the Lord pressing them personally into my heart: Nichole, you worship people and honor Me, when it should be the other way around.
I knew He was right. Something had to change. The fear of man, people-pleasing, and my never-ending search for acceptance from this world needed to end.
Fear of Man Was Costing Me
I began searching Scripture for truth I could cling to when the fear of man surfaced. That’s when I came across Galatians 1:10: “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
It hit me like a ton of bricks, almost as if I had never read it before. Suddenly, I saw what my fear of people had been costing me. I tried desperately to stay in everyone’s good graces. I searched for approval, validation, and affection from the people around me.
All of it made it harder for me to obey the Lord, trust Him, and live for an audience of One. I had to learn to stop abandoning myself for people.
Finding Freedom From People-Pleasing
I made it a daily habit to spend time with the Lord, read His promises over and over again, and remind myself of who He is and who I am in Him. When you live to behold the beauty of the Lord, it becomes harder to live by the opinions of others. Little by little, those old chains fell away.
I wish I could tell you it’s been sunshine and rainbows since then, but the enemy doesn’t go away quietly. He still tries to pull me back into my old, people-pleasing ways. But now I recognize that snare more quickly. I can perceive the exhaustion of chasing the moving target of validation and approval from a mile away.
I recognize destructive thoughts like these when they arise:
- “If I don’t say yes right away, they will be mad.”
- “If they don’t approve, I shouldn’t do it.”
- “I need their approval to feel good about myself.”
- “What if they talk about me behind my back?”
- “I’d rather just keep the peace.”
That thinking leads right back to captivity. Instead, I choose to turn back to God’s truth:
- “Lord, should I do this right now? Do I even really want to?”
- “Lord, Your will be done. I will listen to You.”
- “Lord, You fearfully and wonderfully made me. I am a daughter of the Most High God.”
- “Blessed are the peacemakers, not merely the peacekeepers”
Freedom from the fear of man doesn’t mean I never feel pulled to people-please. It means I know where to turn when that pull comes.
I don’t have to live for the approval of everyone around me. I can live for the One who already knows me completely, loves me fully, and calls me His.
A Prayer for Freedom From the Fear of Man
Lord, You came to set the captives free and release all those in prison. Only You can lift me from the pit of people-pleasing and the fear of man. Forgive me for the times I worshiped people, thirsted for their acceptance or approval, and merely honored You when You alone deserved my worship. You are the well that never runs dry. You said “drink of Me and you’ll never thirst again.” Keep leading me back to You when my heart is prone to wander. Take my heart and seal it for You. Keep me safely tucked in You, Jesus—my identity, my only hope, and my devotion.
Amen.
