These days, it’s acceptable to be unforgiving and loveless. Choosing to love regardless of wrong or insult is considered weakness rather than strength. However, society’s beliefs could not be any farther from the Lord’s example.
The Scriptures tell us that forgiveness and love are extended to us freely by God. (Ephesians 1:7, John 3:16, and Romans 5:8) There are no strings attached—meaning offenses are not brought up again. Forgiving and loving one another is also what Jesus calls us to do. (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, and Matthew 6:14-15)
Here’s the difficult part: just like the Lord, we’re meant to do so without any strings attached and the offense should not be brought up again.
When it comes to forgiveness you may be thinking “But Nichole, you don’t know what they did to me!” But I do know because I have been there too, and not a few times. I also know that it’s the “not bringing it up again” part that presents a challenge.
Choosing forgiveness and to love, may be two of the most difficult callings we have as Christians. To my sensitive and sometimes hyper-emotional nature—choosing to forgive and love when I don’t want to feels like what I imagine trying to swallow a knife is like. It’s unfair, painful, one-sided most of the time, and just plain cruel.
The act of showing forgiveness and love is not a one-and-done fix either. It’s a daily choice—sometimes multiple times a day (Matthew 18:21-22). Sounds like a lot, I know that. But then I remember that God doesn’t ask us to do what He won’t do first. He doesn’t ask us to give what He hasn’t already freely given us and will continue to give us. When it comes to offense, I don’t take them lightly and I don’t put up with them for long because I’m aware of the negative consequences.
Offense has the ability to make your heart so bitter and overrule the power of God so strongly in your life, that you don’t know which way is up or down. I used to live by offenses. But now I know all too well that if I feel the sting of offense rising up in my heart; it’s time to get quiet, and open up the Book. The Holy Book that is infinite-life-giving, double-edged sword-piercing, spirit-reviving, and mind-renewing, with wisdom leaping out of the pages. The words of my Father calling me back to Himself.
In the still and small quiet times with the Lord, He reveals His heart on matters. It is only then that He reveals familiar things in a new way. Scriptures that I must have read a hundred times over feel like I’m suddenly reading them for the first time. Like Luke 7:47, which says “Her sins and they are many are forgiven of her, as her great love shows.”
That’s when it gets personal. “Her sins are many,” becomes “my sins are many.” They were many but He forgave them. “Her love was great” which is reflecting His great love toward her, becomes “how could a perfect Savior show me love?”
I picture my innocent King on that cross, and think about how He had me in mind, with all of my wrong-doing, all of my rebellion, as He shed His perfect blood for a wretch like me—how can I hold any offense when He didn’t against me? How can I hold anything in the shadow of His cross?
He withholds none of His love from us while being rejected by us, and He freely forgives when we don’t deserve it. How could I not forgive much when I have been forgiven much? How can I not love much when I am so loved by the Creator of the world?
I have had to come to this realization: I forgive because I am forgiven. I love because I am loved. What a liberating reality and identity to walk in! I am forgiven and loved, therefore I can forgive and love others.
Some would say that God asks a lot of His children. I would say yes to that. But I would add that it’s always for our well-being, and never to hurt us. Jeremiah 29:11 says it best: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
