“Sneaky links” have become so popular in songs, memes, and TikToks that trending is an understatement. According to Urban Dictionary, a sneaky link can be defined as “a sexual experience that no one knows about,” or a secret hookup. The phrase is quite new, but the concept is age-old and damaging.
Infidelity and adultery have wreaked havoc since the era of David and Bathsheba in the Bible. Today, many see no harm in having sneaky links before, during, or after a relationship. On social media, it’s even encouraged.
Secret hookups are appealing because there’s no commitment and it’s a seemingly enticing experience for nothing in exchange. But, we must be cautious when we stumble upon an ice-cold glass of water in the middle of a desert. There is always a cost when God is left out of our decisions (Jeremiah 9:6).
Sneaky links promise pleasure shrouded in security and secrecy, but they’re actually a formula for pain and regret.
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Secrecy Behind Sneaky Links
When you have a sneaky link, no one who knows about it except you and that person, so you’re safe right? Wrong. You and God know the truth. The mind is powerful, so the enemy manipulates our thinking to make us destroy ourselves. It’s his favorite tactic.
Let’s say you got up every morning and stubbed your toe on the bed. Refusing to move the object, you smash your toe on the same spot daily. Eventually, you will start limping from the pain. Just as there are natural consequences when we are in denial about something physical, there are spiritual consequences when we deny God’s warnings.
You are now wounded because you did not remove what was hurting you. God doesn’t want us to make repeated mistakes when we should know better. Secrecy about your sneaky link doesn’t excuse the negative effects of lust, shame, and promiscuity. Once the pain dials up to ten, your hobble will become apparent for all to see. Others will notice the effect of your decisions. They may be unaware of who was in your bed last night, but they are aware that you don’t exude the same light you did a few months ago.
Sis, it’s not giving! Trash the sneaky!
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Masking Your Unmet Needs
Truthfully speaking, most people engage in sneaky links for sex and nothing more. However, if this is you, I would encourage you to pull back and identify the unmet need that is behind the behavior.
When facing a need in life, we can either go to the light or the darkness to fill it. Loneliness, rejection, and fear are all spiritual sicknesses that need a remedy. The problem arises when we choose darkness instead of God’s standard for the cure.
If you are forming unhealthy relationships to cope with trauma, secret hookups will never give you the satisfaction your soul needs. Whether you turn to sneaky links to fight loneliness or a porn addiction—it will always leave you emptier than when you started and keep you from God’s purpose for you.
Sometimes, darkness seems more practical when the need is pressing and painful. It takes little effort to find a sneaky link, buy a controlled substance, or down a pint of liquor. But in the long run, those decisions cost more than God’s remedy of peace and fulfillment through Christ.
Present your needs to God who strengthens you. What if instead of passing out your broken pieces to everyone who promised you peace—you gave them all to God? He provides beauty for ashes, so let Him (Isaiah 61:3).
Count the Cost
Ever seen a robot movie where the machine starts off helpful and obedient, but by the halfway mark is trying to take out the owner? Unchecked desires almost always go rogue because our human nature is never satisfied. It wants more no matter how much its fed. Sneaky link situations fall apart or become toxic because one person gets attached and starts wanting more from the relationship. Usually, this not what the other partner wants.
The rejection it causes creates an unfillable void. When hookup culture becomes an idol and demands to be fed anytime it chooses, your spirit will suffer. It’s not worth it, so don’t stay in sin.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 6:23 (NIV)
Avoid Sneaky Links
If you have a sneaky link or are thinking about getting one, know that it is an empty promise of deceit. It won’t be a secret, it won’t fill your emptiness, and it will cost way more than advertised. Temptation comes with serious backlash when you give in, but God makes a way out of it (1 Corinthians 10:13). Jesus Christ came as the ultimate sacrifice for us and He gives affection that is far from “sneaky.” If you ask me, it’s all you’ll ever need.
